In the News
This is a section dedicated to fluffy bunny attacks in the news. If you read/see/hear one, let us know by emailing us at bananaddl@gmail.com
The following news story was heard on WKIA (CBS affiliate) TV in Atlanta, Georgia on April 9th, 2006
A fluffy bunny is expressing rage on the city of Atlanta today. Already it has killed 32 people and sent 93 to the hospital. Policemen are angrily chasing after it with guns, only to be gored themselves. There is a $500,000 reward for the killing of this nasty little creature.
(Fluffy bunny runs into newsroom, on set)
OH, WHAT IS THAT ADORABLE THING?
(Fliuffy bunny gores newsperson, TV goes to commercial break)
NOTE: Eventually, the fluffy bunny managed to escape and is no longer terrorizing the city.
The following appeared in the Tokyo Morning News on 4/15/06 (translated)
ATTENTION ALL TOKYO CITIZENS: A new city alert has been added to the emergency plan. A fluffy bunny alert will be put into affect immediately upon fluffy bunny sighting in or around the greater Tokyo area. Fluffy bunnies have been known to gore people and animals and rip them to shreds. In the event of a FBA, do not panic. Remain indoors until the alert is lifted. Do not go outside unless your house is on fire. Also, lock all your doors and windows. (Fluffy bunnies have not been known to open doors, but it could happen.)
Fluffy bunnies look exactly as the name implies, bunnies with a bit of fluffy white stuff on them that looks like a cross between marshmallow fluff and snow. If you are outside and see a fluffy bunny, please go inside and alert the town council immediately by calling (phone number). If inside, simply call the council.
The town council head, Musako Lamani, as well as the whole emergency comittee would like to thank you for your cooperation.
The following was e-mailed to me as a personal account by Joe Rhule of Stark, Kansas
Well, I was in my room with my girlfriend yesterday, and we were talking. All of a sudden, this thing that looked like a bunny covered in maeshmallow fluff comes in and rips my girlfriend to shreds, in about 2 minutes. Then, he started to rip me to shreds, but he only managed to bite off my big toe before I managed to put him into a chokehold and throw him out the 5th story window to his death. There was nothing left of my girlfriend or my big toe other than shreds. I was also bleeding profusely but managed to get medical help.
Please warn everyone of this terror that is the fluffy bunny. If they know how to stop it, maybe lives will be saved.
The following article is reprinted from the Green Bay (Wis.) Times
Mr. Jonas Clark was killed last night, from an apparent fluffy bunny attack. At about 11 PM last night, shrieks were heard from Mr. Clark's bedroom of "AHH FLUFFY BUNNY" at which time poor Jonas was ripped to shreds. Jonas was only 36 at the time.
bravenet.com